adventures in design

The Engagement: Your Budget

If you're getting married, I know you've seen gratuitous blog posts on budgets. There's articles in wedding magazines galore about savings and ways to save, breaking things down by category and classification and everything in-between. There's all sorts of ways to budget, and there's tons of advice out there for it. The most recent issue of I Do for Tennessee Brides has a great section looking at budget for three different brides for different price points. Ashley at Ashley's Bride Guide did a great blog on budgeting-- and how it should be a super priority.

I'm going to talk about some of the things that brides don't really think about when it comes to their budget, and ways they break the bank without thinking about it. 

1. Being Lured in by the idea of a deal; Great savings, super deep discounts, or "bargain sales" are great ways to get you in the door, and then you can get suckered into buying something more expensive once you arrive and "comparison shop" -- for example: David's Bridal $99 sale. There's like 2 $99 dresses, none of them are in the store (they are actually online) and they are pretty unattractive. The dresses that sell in store for $199 pale in comparison to the $499 dresses on the rack, but the goal is to get you in the store so that you can see what you're missing and to think, "wow, I ought to buy that, instead."  Remember, weddings are emotional buys-- so vendors are counting on you to use the "it's a once in a lifetime" logic to justify expenditures. 

Budget Tip on Saving on your Gown: Check out the Jessica McClintock Store in the Cool Springs Mall for the discontinued line (you can get a once-high dollar gown for as low as $60 bucks) and shop department stores in their dresses sections for simpler gowns that might save. And don't discount consignment and used gowns-- use the "once in a lifetime" rule to work for you and save some money.

2.Ordering too much of something: Cake, Invites, and Programs are often culprits of the "too much" ordering rule. You should have enough cake for your guests, but if you're ordering a cake & a grooms cake, you don't necessarily need a slice of each for each guest. This might be an area you can save. When it comes to invites, you don't have to order one for each guest-- figure out how many you are actually sending (remember that often times, you are sending off to couples) and then order 10% extra to cover goofs and have a few keepsakes. And as for programs: order about 65% of your final RSVP guest count: not everyone takes a program, and you can save a little extra money.

3. Shop around on incidentals!: A smart bride is one that researches, and here's where a planner comes in handy. A planner will save you the money it cost to hire them, plus keeping you stress free. If you can't hire a planner, be sure to invest the time in looking into pricing out a few options in some of the incidentals-- like favors, tablecloths, and rentals. These are all areas you can end up saving money. 

4. Think in terms of concepts and don't get stuck on exact things: If you're working with a fixed budget, then think in the abstract instead of the concrete. Being flexible with your budget means opening your mind to other possibilities and areas that you can save. If you get it stuck in your mind that you must have something, then you're going to be relatively hard to sway on that issue-- and might end up breaking the bank in the process.

Budget Tip: Think big picture and key elements, and don't be afraid to look outside of the world of weddings: For some reason, once things have the "W" word, they instantly inflate in price-- so look beyond the W, in bargain bins, on Craigslist, Dollar General, Big Lots-- don't be afraid of what you might find, because you could unearth something very exciting.

5. Don't be scared of budget: Brides seem to think that once they start taking budget, it means they're "cheap" or that they're trying to cut corners. Ladies, if you're contemplating putting Cheese-Whiz on Ritz and serving it as meal, then we've got a problem, unless you and your fiance met and fell in love over that particular snack. The budget is a living, breathing thing. You've got to keep it a live and be respectful of it, know what it's eating, know when you've got to tend to it, know when you're over t-ending or getting overprotective-- but you don't need to be scared of it. What you do need to be scared of is debt. It doesn't make sense to enter into your married life in debt for a wedding, I don't care what anyone says. So have a healthy respect for the numbers, don't fear them, don't think it means you're a cheapo-- recognize and respect them for what they are: guidelines to help you stay on track and out of debt.

The Engagement: Communicating, Priotizing, and Developing a Gameplan

In the first stages of your engagement, you'll find that everyone's got a little tidbit of advice for you. They'll all be ready and willing to tell you what you ought to be doing first-- picking a date (that's next weeks feature) setting a budget (week after next) and getting your theme in mind (first week of February). Your girlfriends might tell you to focus on things, like finding your dress or your venues, or vendors, like booking the perfect photographer.

Getting engaged is a lot like falling into this special Twilight Zone episode dedicated to this alternate reality where cake flavors suddenly become one of the most important things ever. It seems like you need to be more focused on getting the latest edition of all the top wedding magazines, signing up to be Knottie, and finding out just what it means to "DIY"

I know, that's the fun stuff. It's cool to get sucked into Vortex Wedding, and it's the vortex you've been waiting for-- after all, what little girl doesn't dream of her wedding day. Who isn't waiting to walk down the aisle as a vision in white? So, it's normal to want to surrender to the tides and plunge, head first, into the madness that is "The Wedding of Your Dreams."

I'm not trying to rain on your parade, I'm just trying to save you a bit of heartache and disappointment in the long run by presenting you with some really solid advice. I know-- everyone's doing it, and here  I ammjumping on the bandwagon. As a wedding professional, I love weddings. I love brides. I meet with brides and talk with them almost daily, I get to know them and feel their plight. And I hear them months after their engagement, when they are knee-deep in wedding plans with bags of stuff they bought at Michael's that they don't even remember buying and they say "Oh yeah, that's when my colors were Saffron and Sage. Now's Amber and Turquoise. We talked about it and..."

That, my friends, is the magic word: "talked." Talking about your plans with your fiance, your mom, your wedding planner (yes, ladies, you need a wedding planner-- in the very least a day of coordinator to help keep your sanity-- best investment you can spend, but I'll blog on that later), your best girlfriend, whatever, can really help you to realize exactly what it is that you want your wedding to be. Talking things through can help you see if you're clinging to unrealistic dreams you had when you were ten (you cannot, ehem, "rent" Cinderella's Pumpkin here in Nashville, sorry), or those that far exceed your budget. Talking can also make you see if those ideas are magical, wonderful things that are pure genius in the making.

Talking helps you to do something else-- prioritize. Before you start buying things and signing contracts, you need to decide what is the most important things to you and your fiance. If photography is one of your "musts," then put that at the top of the list. On the contrary, if a designer dress is more important than any other thing, then that takes number one. Or, if you're determined to get married at your childhood church or on a specific day, then make that your number one priority.

Prioritizing lets you develop a gameplan-- a sort of action plan for your wedding that can save you a lot of heartache. Your gameplan can be ways you want to achieve your priorities or goals for your wedding, like booking an awesome photographer or working with a cake designer for a totally unique creation in sugar. Or, it could be taking a theme and stretching its boundaries with an event designer. If it's a priority from the start, then you'll more than likely achieve it, and if it's on paper, you'll more than likely create a means to achieve it.

Remember, your wedding day is about making the stuff of dreams come true, but by communicating, prioritizing, and coming up with a gameplan, we turn dreams into goals. Before you get to the contracts, make sure you have an action plan and know what you really want so that you can make that dream day a reality.

The Engagement: Volume I: Resist the Rush

 

When a bride first gets engaged, it seems like the world is her oyster: Stars are in her eyes; there's a perpetual orchestra playing everywhere she walks, a chorus of angels are singing in her ears, and everything she does screams "wedding, wedding, wedding!"

But Brides: As much as you want to buy, buy, buy and sign dotted lines-- don't. Don't. DON'T.

I know, no matter what you do, you're going to get asked a series of pretty standard questions by almost everyone you know. 1. Let me see your ring! (followed by oohs, ahhs, and oh my goodnesses), and then 2. How'd he propose?(followed by the same oohs, ahhs, and ...) and then 3. Where are you getting married, what's your date, what's your colors, how many bridesmaids, sitdown dinner? buffet? dancing?....) in no particular order and launched at you in rapid-fire fashion.

Those kind of questions tend to make a girl feel overwhelmed, and make you want to go out there and make some big decisions very, very fast. It makes you want to jump into securing a date, determining a guest list, and locking in your pantones. But wait! There's more-- it also means getting really stressed out and missing out on enjoying on of the most wonderful times of your life! And no, I don't mean Christmas-- I mean your ENGAGEMENT!

Being engaged is one of the most romantic times that you'll share with your fiance as a couple. It's all about the choice that you've made to share a commitment to one another to be unified as one, to take on a journey as man and wife. It's a celebration of your relationship, a time to honor what you've done together, how far you've come, and the steps you're about to take. So stop. Sit down. Smell the roses. The smartest couples are those that set about to not make major wedding decisions in the first month to three months of their engagement ( I know, all those wedding guideline-thingies tell you otherwise). That's why today's engagement is lasting a sixteen to twenty-four months, because couples are taking their time. They are putting their focus on their relationship, not on the party that celebrates their relationship! That's important. If your number-one priority ends up being what flavor of canape you're going to serve, you might end up forgetting that you and your fiance really liked to go bowling on Tuesday nights when there wasn't a big wedding to plan. Or that sometimes, you like a good hot dog covered with relish and mustard and (even though HE thinks it's gross) mayonnaise camped out in front of the TV watching scary movies and not the latest episode of So Whose Wedding is it Anyways! Those kind of things tend to get covered up in the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, but they are also the kind of things that can make your relationship suffer during wedding planning.

So brides, take my advice. Whne you get that pretty, pretty ring, take at least a few weeks to savor it, and don't rush you way to the altar. You have a lifetime to be married, so why don't you take a little bit of extra time to plan your wedding. Trust me, there's no rush, and your relationship will be all the better for it.

Annoucement of A New Series! The Engagement @ Brocade 2009

This is the fiftieth Brocade Blog, and that's cause for a celebration, right? I've decided to earmark this milestone with the annoucement of a great new series that I'm going to be writing. At the start of 2009, I am going to launch a blog series all about ENGAGEMENTS. That's right! It's going to be the most wonderful time of the year, year round, as I devote one blog entry every week to this exciting time in your life. Sometimes I'll be practical (what planning stages you should be at, should you insure your ring, and how, et cetera) other times it will be whimsical (indulgences, styles, et cetera). I'll have cool design ideas to share (lots of save-the-dates, invites, party ideas, programs, and more), flower trends for 2009, and much, much, more). Have an idea for what YOU'D like to see? Well, leave me a comment-- remember, I'm trying to give some well-deserved treats to the pups and kittens out there for the holidays-- so comment, comment, comment.